So, you woke up and the world is still here. Nibiru did not smash into us or fling us out of our orbit. The sun did not roast us with a mega-flare. The core did not blow up. The Rapture did not happen. And let's be honest. You kinda knew it was going to play out like this, because the Doomsday chatter really began to fizzle as 2012 drew to a close and nothing more ominous happened than the approach of the fiscal cliff. So let's draw some lessons.
The experts were right. They always are. I'm not even going to qualify it with "almost" because that will give many people the wiggle room to make an exception for their own pet crank beliefs. The historians who said the end of the Maya Long Count merely meant the count rolled over and started anew? They were right. The astronomers who said there's no Nibiru because it would have been detected already? They were right, too. Now what else are the experts right about? Evolution. Climate change. Vaccination. Fluoridation. All of it. Every single issue. They're right because they have the information and the training to understand it. You're wrong because you don't have either.
Your entire world view is wrong. You believed the world was going to end because of the Maya prophecies? The Maya did some astonishing stuff. Living a stone age existence is tough. Living it where the only stone harder than limestone is a hundred miles away is tougher still. But the idea that there are profound scientific truths encoded in ancient myths and legends is rubbish. It was rubbish when Ignatius Donnelly tried to build an ancient catastrophes saga a hundred years ago. It was rubbish when Immanuel Velikovsky did it in the 1950's. It was rubbish when Erich von Daniken claimed proof of ancient astronauts in the 1970's (and it takes some kind of cojones to write that kind of book when you're serving time in prison for fraud.) And it was rubbish in 2012.
You believed it because the government was suppressing the truth? So what did they suppress? Nothing happened. And you know what? They're not suppressing the truth about UFO's, 9/11, HAARP, miracle cancer cures, 200-mpg carburetors, the Moon landings, Pearl Harbor, Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster or Obama's birth certificate, either. They were telling the truth about 2012 and they're telling the truth about all that other stuff, too.
You believed it because you worked it out from the Bible? Your understanding of the Bible is garbage. Everything you think the Bible is telling you is wrong, because you believe in a false god. Your god is something you made up out of your own head, out of all your petty resentments and unresolved adolescent authority issues. The mainstream denominations are right. The "social gospel" churches are right. In fact, they are the real "full gospel" churches.
Happy December 22, 2012. Now go out and get a life.
